The Battle for My Voice: My Testimony at age 14

Keywords

testimony, teenage struggles, bullying, toxic relationships, escape, prayer, parenting, faith, identity, healing

In this episode of the 'Where Is Your Voice' podcast, Erika shares her personal testimony of overcoming teenage struggles, bullying, toxic relationships, and the journey to finding hope through faith and prayer. She emphasizes the importance of parental guidance and the power of prayer in navigating life's challenges.

takeaways

• Erika feels led to share testimonies every Tuesday.
• Teenage years can be chaotic and challenging.
• Bullying can have a lasting impact on self-esteem.
• Toxic friendships can lead to poor life choices.
• Seeking acceptance can lead to dangerous situations.
• Prayer can be a source of strength and hope.
• Parents should instill faith in their children.
• God's love and protection are always present.
• Healing is possible through faith and prayer.
• It's important to be watchful and pray for loved ones.

Transcript

Erika (00:00)
So I feel led to start sharing testimonies. So I decided that every Tuesday I will be sharing a testimony of myself or someone I know, which leads me to the next topic.

when I was 14. Do you remember your teenage years? Hopefully they wasn't as chaotic as mine. Or maybe you're a parent that's raising teenagers or you're getting ready to be raising teenagers. So before I get into it, my name is Erica. Welcome to Where Is Your Voice podcast. I am so happy that you are here and also so blessed. Now.

I was raised in church my whole life. But for some reason when I turned 14 years old, I was like, God, where? And I started asking my mom questions, know, typical teenager, hormonal. But my mom would always like, she would never answer the question. She would just say things like, you can't do this and that because it's in the Bible. So today I will be giving a summary of my age at 14 because it truly

changed the course of my whole life. For starters, I was a teenager who was getting bullied. My mom was a single mom and my older sister had just had a baby. She was struggling to provide for us.

So at that age I owned three pair of pants and five pair of shirts. And I used to rotate them through school. So you can imagine, I got bullied a lot because I wore the same clothes. A lot of girls tried to fight me in school and they would throw crowns at me. They would make fun of my glasses because I wore big bifocals even bigger than these. And I had really bad acne. And I also had weight issues as well.

And so they would just target me, but then we ended up getting...

this new girl that came to the school and I noticed that she got bullied just like me. And so was like, well maybe me and her can be friends and we actually ended up being fast friends but she was different than I was and she started to teach me a lot of the toxic things that she knew that I was not aware of. So she started to really like open my eyes to like a bad life.

Which in my mind I started to view that as an alternative because I already felt like my life was pretty bad already. So was like, how could this be much worse? And I was like, at least, you know, the bad kids are like more accepting of me. They like me, you know. So my friend who was like only like 13 at the time, she lost her virginity. And I honestly was like eager to know the details, but was very surprised of the details because

Like, that's just how innocent I was. Like, I had no clue what she was telling me, but after she told me, I became eager to do the very same thing. And so, you know, once the moment happened, I did. I lost mine as well. And I remember after it put me in a great depression because clearly the guy wasn't going to be like a standup guy afterwards. He stopped talking to me. He left me alone.

I was very heartbroken. I fell into a depression. I started talking to another guy. The next guy that I started talking to, I ended up messing around with him and he gave me crabs. I didn't even know what was going on with my body. I just knew that something was going on in my body. I remember being in a bathtub one time and actually seeing them physically with my eyes, crabs. I remember wanting to jump out of my body.

but realizing that I can't do that. And I didn't know what they were either. So I was just talking to different friends. And one of my friends actually talked to her mom about it she told me what I can go and get. And that's what I did. And that's how I ended up getting rid of those. That also put me in another deeper depression. And I just wanted to escape. I was like, this is hard. I was like, life is

I was like these people are mean they're awful. They're taking advantage of me They're giving me things without telling me like I just wanted to escape so I Didn't even want to live with my mom anymore And I end up meeting somebody that gave me an opportunity to run away from home So that I did he came he got me I packed up all my stuff and I left home and

So when he brought me to his place, his place was crawling with roaches. Roaches was everywhere, like a nightmare movie. If you've ever seen roaches, they usually don't come out when the lights are on. These roaches were out. They lived in, that was their home. We were guests in their home. So because he had so many roaches, I didn't try to spend that much time there. Throughout the course of the day, I would go for a walk.

As I was walking, I would just hang out with random people. One time I met these two guys. I was hanging out with them. One of the guys was doing drugs. He was smoking C-R-A-C-K. At the time, I didn't know what it was. He offered me some. I was like, okay, let's see what it is. I remember holding it. It was like this glass pipe. It smelled weird. I put it up to my mouth.

He was like, yeah, you know, you just take the lighter and you inhale. And I was like, I don't know. And I just felt such a nudge. And it had to be the Holy Spirit. I was like, don't do it. No. So I changed my mind and I was like, no. And I gave it back to him. But he kept leaving. That guy and the other guy who was with him actually told me what it was. Like he gave me the full information and he told me he was like, also watch him as you watch.

you're gonna notice that he's gonna be in and out. He told me exactly what it does to people. So as I watched him, I told myself, I was like, I will never do that because I don't ever wanna be like that. And I don't even wanna know what that feels like. The guy that I was living with at the time, he was also terrible. He was probably in his 30s. He knew that I was 14 years old. He knew that I ran away. He persuaded me to.

I actually had met him on this chat line, like that was really popular back in the day where you would meet up with people on a phone chat line. So times when we would engage, he would call other women and speak to them on the phone why we were engaging. Yeah, it was like a nightmare situation. And I just allowed it because you know, I didn't have any boundaries. I didn't have a voice. So I didn't know what I was supposed to say, what I was supposed to do.

But after a while I got fed up. stayed there for about two weeks and then I was like, I am going back to my mom's So I went back to my mother's house. But guess what? I did run away again, sadly. But this time it was random. And it was more out of my will. One time I was at the Underground Atlanta and...

It was this guy there and also with a group of friends, this group of guys and this guy was like persuading me to live with him. And he told me that he'll take care of me. He told me he'll get me a cat. I always wanted a pet, especially a pet cat. So like honestly, when he said that I was sold, I went with him. you know, as to me, this man did not have a place. He manipulated me by telling me all of these lies.

and he kept me in various hotels for a course of months and I did not have money. I wore the same outfit the whole time that I was dealing with this person. He would abuse me. He would manipulate me telling me that he had dreams that I left him and when he went looking for me he found me unalive.

behind a dumpster. remember during the time I used to listen to Lauryn Hill's tape. I had a tape that I would listen to on my tape player and I would just listen to that all the time. When he would get mad if I didn't do what he wanted me to do right away, he would abuse me with that tape player. To this day when I listen to Lauryn Hill, it still triggers memories of that time. I was getting tired. It was a torment.

and a treatment that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. But I did not know how to escape him because I was young, he had me captive. People wouldn't help me. They wouldn't even look at me because imagine how I looked. It's probably been a good four months and I still have the exact same outfit on. I'm ashy, I'm unkept, my hair is undone. No one even considered me.

And so what I started to do was pray. I would pray in tongues because I felt like if I would pray in a regular way that God would not hear my prayers because I just felt like I was a sinner and that God was angry with me. So I was like, if I pray in tongues, he might hear this. So one day, you know, me and that guy, we were staying at this hotel where we actually knew another couple there. So we were hanging out in that couple's room and

him and the other guy decided to go for a walk. And while they went for a walk, I called an old childhood friend of mine. And when I was talking to her, I was pleading to her about everything that was going on with me. I was crying out to her in tears about everything that was going on. And while I was on the phone, the other girl who was there with me sitting in hotel, she was listening in, but she was shocked.

by everything that I was saying because she was like, him? She was like, he's a coward. She knew him more. She knew more about him than what I knew. But also, she was an adult. I was a child. she was like, he's a coward. She was like, I'm not going to let this happen. I'm going to tell my man, we're going to get you out of this situation. So when they come back, she tells her man. And it wasn't like he was just like, OK, y'all can have her now. I'm leaving.

No, like he got like he was like no begging me I had to actually go in the bathroom and hide in there and while I was in there he was at the door pleading with me and he didn't call me my name he called me Angel and he was like Angel Angel please I promise I will never hurt you again I will take care of you and this and that and I was pleading back with him I was like please let me go back home

I miss my mom. I miss my family. I just really want to go back to school. I was pleading with him right back. The more that I pleaded with him back, it just fell on deaf ears. He ended up starting to getting more aggressive and he started to kick the door down. They were like, you know what? Let's go ahead and escort her out of here. The couple, they escorted me out of the hotel. We were walking.

As we were walking, he was walking behind me, still trying to say the same things. We just so happened to see a police officer. So I told the police everything that happened. I just did not tell them who I really was and my real name. They apprehend him and they put him in the police car. While he was in the police car, he tells them a lie. And he also told them that I lied about my age. So the police come back over to me and they say,

How old are you really? And I told them my real age, but I was like, but everything else I told you was the truth. Let me tell you something. They whole demeanor changed after that. They ripped him out the car and they put me in a squad car. They took me to like a precinct and they just became very mean and aggressive to me. They was like, if your mom doesn't answer the phone in the next 15 minutes, we're going to award you to the state. Like they did not treat me like a victim at all.

I was being treated like a suspect and I just sat there like in tears I was crying and I was just praying that my mom would answer the phone as soon as possible because I just wanted to be back in her warmness I just wanted to be back with my mother finally she did pick up the phone and she came to pick me up and she showered me in the love that I truly needed

I stayed home for a little bit after that, but I wanted to share this testimony as a parent now at 41 years old who is a parent of a 14 year old and a 13 year old. And I get so much anxiety, fear, all the world worries about my kids all the time, but the Lord truly

Parents each one of us individually. I remind myself this about my kids that he loves them even more than I do Then I think of my stories my testimony and how he never left my side They were some dire situations, but here I am today Happy whole faith in the Lord who saved me from myself

It's a lot of stories that happened that year that were worse than the ones that I shared. But God covered me through them all. And I just want to leave a few verses, a couple of verses as well. This is verse John 10 29. My father who has given them to me is greater than all. No one can snatch them out of my father's hand.

I love that verse because Jesus cannot lie. He said this so you know you are covered. And this is not to say let your kids be free. No, of course. What I'm saying is trust God that he will cover them. He will see them through it. And even if you've been through it, like if you've been through something I've been through, God will heal you.

in the same way that he healed me and he will free you from the shame of your sin which is amazing. Then lastly I want to end with this verse Proverbs 22 6 train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. I truly believe in this of course is my testimony.

for sure and I believe the enemy starts when we are young because these are things that shatter your voice, boundaries, faith. They bring all sorts of anxiety, people pleasing issues, boundary issues, identity issues. So we have to be watchful praying, not just for yourself, but for others because when I was out there, my mom never stopped praying, fasting, serving.

everything she could to get her daughter back on track. But the best thing that she did was instill Jesus in my life in prayer. So before I go, I'm going go ahead and pray us out. Lord, we come to you in the name of Jesus, God. Thank you for allowing me to be able to share this testimony, Lord. I want others to see and know that you're saving

Your is always there God. Your covering is always there God. Your protection is always there God. Your righteousness is always there God. Your justice is always there God. And you see us, you see what we're going through. So I want to encourage those Lord through your will, through your servitude that they can know that they can rely on you.

Because in the same way that you saved me, you can save others like you've done again and again and again. In Jesus name we pray. Amen. Alright, thank y'all for watching. Please like, comment, thumbs up, something, what you do. But anyway, bye.