Finding your Voice: A Journey of Courage

summary

In this episode, Erika discusses the significance of finding and using one's voice, emphasizing the importance of courage and self-expression. She explores various barriers to vocal expression, including trauma, fear, and offense, and provides biblical insights and personal anecdotes to illustrate her points. The conversation encourages listeners to embrace their stories and seek healing through open communication and faith.

takeaways

• The world needs your story and voice.
• The Bible offers solutions for life's challenges.
• Many struggle to find their voice due to past trauma.
• Trauma can shatter boundaries and silence individuals.
• Fear often prevents people from speaking up.
• Understanding offense can help in communication.
• It's important to discern when to use your voice.
• Healing comes from sharing and not holding in pain.
• Using your voice is a journey with ups and downs.
• Prayer and seeking wisdom are essential in finding your voice.

Transcript

Erika (00:00)
Welcome back to Where is Your Voice Ministries. I am so thankful and honored and grateful that you are tuning in. If you missed my first episode, it was an introduction to Where is Your Voice and why I decided to create this podcast. To introduce myself, my name is Erica.

I am an heir to the kingdom, a woman of God, a child to the most high king. And he led me here, the Holy Spirit led me here to discuss the importance on having a voice. It is so important to be courageous. The world needs your voice. The world needs your story. The world needs you to speak up. And so that's why I'm here to...

show and teach others how to have a voice, when they shouldn't use their voice, when they should speak up, when they shouldn't speak up. Because I know I've been guilty of this too, saying things when I shouldn't say it. And that could be very embarrassing. And just so you know, this is a Bible-based podcast because I believe ...

that the Bible has a solution for every circumstance that is in our life. Ecclesiastes 1.9 says, what has been will be again. What has been done will be done again. There is nothing new under the sun. What that means is

Everything that has happened in your life in some form has happened before. Which is great news for you because there is a billion of us in this world. That means there is a solution to your situation. The best solution finder is the Bible. I do understand that the Bible can be very hard to read. That's why I'm here. We're going to learn it together. We're going to study it together.

and we're going to get better together because I believe that there is Jesus in me and there is Jesus in you to help each other build the church, build the body so we can live life more abundantly like Jesus wants us to, right? So with all of that being said, the first reason, I will be listing three reasons why.

you may be struggling to have a voice, find your voice, know when to use your voice, and know when to not use your voice. And I will be discussing three reasons why you could be struggling in that area. And I do want to say there are a lot more reasons than the three that I'm listing, but these are the three top ones.

in my mind that a lot of us encounter. So if you're wondering why is it for me I just feel like I can't speak up? Why is it for me I feel like I can't stop speaking? Why is it for me I'm afraid to speak my mind? There are reasons that have happened in your life that causes those things to happen and guess what? The Bible lists them.

Every reason that I'm about to tell you, there is a Bible story of somebody who encountered the very same thing. Guess what? Since there's in the Bible, there's also tips and advice on what you can do to get out of that. The first reason that I have on my list is if you've ever been touched inappropriately before. Also, just so you know,

If you do not have a voice, most likely you are suffering with boundary issues, people pleasing issues. When someone touches you inappropriately, the first thing, that boundary that they are breaking is your skin, which is a really big boundary to be broken. When that happens, it shatters your boundaries and you will not have a voice.

after that happens. anything, you're either going to be afraid to speak up or you're going to be speaking too much. Let's go to the Bible. I have a Bible story for you. We are going to 2 Samuel chapter 13 verse 1. I believe I'm going to be reading to at least 13. Okay. In the course of time,

Anan son of David fell in love with Tamar the beautiful sister of Abishan son of David Amman became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill She was a virgin and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her now Amman Had an advisor named Jonah dab son of Shamu

David's brother Jonadad was a very shrewd man. He asked Amon, do the king the king's son look so haggard? Morning after morning, won't you tell me? Amon said to him, I'm in love with Tamar, my brother's Abishan sister. Go to bed and pretend to be ill, Jonadad said. When your father comes to see you, say to him.

I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her. Then I eat it from her hand." So Amon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amon said to him, I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight so I may eat from her hand.

David sent word to Tamar at the palace, go to the house of your brother Ammon and prepare some food for him. So Tamar went to the house of her brother Ammon who was lying down. She took some dough, knotted it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat. Send everyone out of here, Ammon said. So everyone left him. Then Ammon said to Tamar, bring the food here.

into my bedroom, so I may eat from your hand." And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Ammon in his bedroom. But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, "'Come to bed with me, my sister.'" "'No, my brother,' she said to him, "'don't force me. Such a thing should not be done in Israel. Don't do this wicked thing. What about me? Where could I...'

rid of my disgrace. What about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools of Israel. Please speak to the king. He will keep me from being married to you." But he refused to listen to her. And he sensed he was stronger than she. He raped her. Then Amon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he loved her. Amon said to her, get up and get out.

No, she said to him, sending me away would be greater wrong than what you have already done to me. But he refused to listen to her. He called his personal servant and said, get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her. So his servant pulled her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the King wore.

Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the Ormit robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping out loud she went. Her brother Abishan said to her, has that Amon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister. He is your brother. Don't take this to heart.

and Tamar lived in the brother Abishan's house, a desolate woman.

I just had to read that so y'all can see that this is biblical. When someone touches you in a way that is against your skin in an inappropriate way, that will shatter your boundaries and it will cause it for you to not have a voice. Her brother had actually advised her to be quiet and lived with him, a desolate woman.

Does she ever speak again? We don't know. I just want to share my own personal testimony myself. When I was about 14 or 15 years old, I was a really bad teenager and I was just out trying to find a good time. This car pulled over and he asked me, I need a ride? I did need a ride, so I said yes. I got in the car with him. As soon as I got in the car, I could...

feel the Holy Spirit within me telling me to get out of the car. It was so deep. wasn't even here. It was within my body. I didn't get out until I noticed he was not going in the direction that I was telling him to go. Then I grabbed the handle and I tried to jump out of the car, but at that moment it was too late.

The next thing he did, he proceeded to pull out a weapon and he pulled it to my head and he told me to lay down. And then if I was to move, that he would shoot me in the head. And so I was terrified, of course, at that age. I felt like at any age you would be afraid if somebody did that to you. And then I don't know where we're going because I can't see. But when I finally was able to look back up, we were in front of a motel room. And in my mind...

I'm probably going to die here. That's what I thought. So he has me going there with him to get the room, go in the hotel. And I'm telling y'all, the Holy Spirit just started ministering to me on what to do to get out of this situation because I truly thought that that was going to be how it all ended. I thought it was going to be like, this is how they found me.

And while we were in that room and he was talking to me, I felt the Holy Spirit leading me on what to say and what to do. And so what I started to do was use my voice. I started to actually use my voice and I pretended as if I was interested in him. And I told him that he didn't even have to take me against my will.

He could have asked me, I would have went. I thought that he was attractive in the first place. I made him extremely comfortable and I made him feel like a good time happened willingly, basically, but it was not willingly. It was very dreadful, it was terrifying to the point to where he even, when he dropped me off the next morning, he gave me his phone number. That's how comfortable I had made him feel.

But even though I made him feel that way, you can only imagine how I felt after. I was devastated. I was shamed. I was mortified. was thanking God that I was still alive, but I was also very confused on how something like that could have just happened to me. And I remember I went to some friend's house and they could tell that something was wrong with me because I wasn't talking. And...

Every time they would ask me what was wrong, I wouldn't tell them and I actually wouldn't tell anybody. I didn't tell nobody. I didn't go to the police. I didn't do anything. But that shattered my voice for many years. Even though I was able to use a voice in that dire situation, it shattered my voice after a while for many years. And that's another reason why I decided to start this because I have come to realize that

When that happens to people, it is very hard for them to know when they should speak up and also know when to not share because although I did just share with everyone a very traumatic story that happened in my life, I am healed from that story so I can talk about that openly and feel fine about it because thank God and His grace and His wonderful healing power, He has set me free.

from that situation, but I will say if there is anyone listening that has been through a situation like that or even worse, do not hold that in like I did. Please talk to someone. Please tell someone, especially a parent, because I was a teenager and I never told my mom, so especially a parent, someone that is wise, someone that you respect, please tell them that that happened to you. Definitely talk to God.

so he can heal you, not hold it close to your chest like I did, because holding something like that close to your chest does not heal you, it keeps you in bondage and it allows the enemy to have a footstool in your life because that situation happened to me and it wasn't the last time that happened to me. So, and I feel like I would have been free from it if I would have just spoke on it.

and went to God about it, but I tried to hide it for very long time. I do want to point out some other things in that verse. If you notice, in 2 Samuel, where he used shrewd, remember it said he went to his advisor, and they described his advisor as being shrewd. It is in 2 Samuel...

chapter 13 verse 3 it says now Ammon had an advisor named Jonabab son of Shemu David's brother Jonabab was a very shrewd man so I just want to highlight that because Jesus actually uses this word as well let me go to it

Jesus uses this in Luke 16 verse 8 through 9. He was using it as a parable. says,

I tell you use worldly wealth to gain friends for yourself so that when it is gone you will be welcoming into internal dwelling." Shrewd means crafty. It means witty. It means quick on your feet, quick on an answer, quick to just even figure out another plan. Jesus was saying that people of this world, like unbelievers,

They are more shrewd than us, but we need to be more shrewd than them. The reason I want to bring that up because I just think to take notice and that it was used when it's disclosing how Tamar lost her voice when someone was being shrewd and how Jesus is encouraging us to be more shrewd.

than the people of this world. So we need to be more witty. We need to be more wise. We need to be more knowledgeable of the kingdom because they wake up ready. They wake up ready to attack every day. So we need to have the full armor of God and knowing how to use our voice, but also most importantly knowing when not to.

Reason number two that you may be struggling and having a voice, finding a voice, knowing when to use your voice is fear. Fear, fear, fear. I feel like that's a given, right? Because a lot of times the reason we don't want to use our voice is because of fear. So turn with me.

John 19 chapter 19 verse 12 through 16. From then on, Pilate tried to set Jesus free, but the Jewish leaders kept shouting, If you let this man go, you are no friend of Caesar. Anyone who claims to be a king opposes Caesar. When Pilate heard this,

He brought Jesus out and sat down on the judge seat at the place known at the stone pavement, which is the Arimic in Gabotha. In the day of preparation of the Passover, it was about noon. Here is your king, Pilate said to the Jews. But they shouted, take him away, take him away, crucify him. Shall I crucify your king, Pilate asked.

We have no king, but Caesar, the chief priest answered. Finally, Pilate handed him over to them to be crucified. So the soldiers took charge of Jesus." and as we have seen, Pilate,

did not want to crucify Jesus. He actually didn't understand why they wanted to. He was like, he has not done anything wrong. And he kept trying to advocate for them to not crucify Jesus. And as you heard, they kept saying, crucify, crucify, crucify. So out of fear, Pilate handed Jesus over. He handed over God out of fear.

a fear of using his voice. Do you see why it is so important to use your voice? Do you see? That's such a great example of why we need to be courageous. We need to be courageous or you can be handing over the most high God. Some scriptures that really help me with this just...

just to be able to not be fearful. First is 2 Timothy chapter 1 verse 7, for the spirit of God gave us, does not make us timid, but gives us power, love, and self-discipline. And then the next scripture that I love that really helps me with this is Ephesians 2 10, for we are God's handiwork.

I those verses because it kind of frees me of that fear. allows me to see that love is so important that it truly drives out fear. I start to think about my kids and how I am with my kids. I tell my kids exactly what I feel.

And I tell them exactly what I feel because I love them and I know that they love me. So if there's someone that I am afraid to tell them how I feel, that means there is some form of fear there. And if there's some form of fear there, why? That's something I need to tap into and see. Because is it coming out of a place of because I've been abused before? Is it coming out of a place of what? Like, what is it and why I'm afraid to say it?

Those are areas that I need to check in for myself. The very last reason that I have on the list and this is just the third reason that I'm listing, but like I said, there's a lot more other reasons, but these are just the three top reasons on why you may be struggling to have a voice, trying to find a voice.

don't know when to use your voice. You know what I mean. It's offense. When the spirit of offense is in the air, you already know you will struggle on either having a voice or you will be explosive. I always say when you're offended, you either explode or you retreat. Depending on the scenario,

have done either or. So I'm about to read real quick in 2nd Samuel chapter 13 again but now we are in verse 21 and 22. When David heard what had happened to Tamar he was very angry but Ammon was his oldest son and also his favorite.

and David would not do anything to make Amon unhappy. Abishan treated Amon as though nothing had happened, but he hated Amon for what he had done to his sister Tamar. So I actually really love these two verses next to each other, because it shows two different type of offense right by each other. So as you see, when David...

he didn't want to offend his son because that was his favorite son and with Abisham he was offended by what he did to his sister but he never told him that he was offended so as you see both of them did not use their voice to their brother about something that their brother did that was absolutely terrible

Neither one of them said anything to him, but for two different reasons, but it still boiled down to it because they were both offended. David didn't want to offend his son and the other one was offended, but by both of them not using their voice, there was grave consequences that happened. I don't know if you know the story, but...

Abishan ended up killing his brother and then Abishan tried to kill his father and he also slept with a lot of his wives publicly for everyone to see. So by them not using their voice at a very critical time that they should have all because of offense caused a snowball.

consequences to happen after. That's why I say it's so important. It's so important and you see it. You see it in the Bible everywhere. You see the spirit of offense in the Bible. You see pride in the Bible because offense to me is a branch of an assumption. That's why we get offended. We're offended because we assume something.

That's usually why the offense happens. For instance, if I go out to eat to a restaurant, a lot of times if I get really bad service, I usually assume it's because of my skin tone. I usually assume that. And I ask myself, do I know that for a fact that that is why they're treating me this way? And if I say no, I tell myself that I don't have a right to be offended.

because I don't even know if that's why they're mad at me. But I will say that is not the only thing that helps me too with offense. Another thing too is just honestly just trying to see people for people. People are truly ratcheting, deplorable, sinful, like all the things, wicked. And the only reason...

people are good, the only reason people are loving, the only reason people are righteous, the only reason people are kind is because they have Jesus. Once you understand that, you start to feel more graceful for people than offended by people. It's just asking God to show you people and who they have the potential to be and not who they are right now.

and I have some verses too that help with offense as well.

But like I said, the best thing is just understanding what offense is that to honor others more than how we wanna be treated and just knowing that you don't understand what somebody could be going through in that moment.

Sometimes we take things personal that are not truly personal. Like I will say, when we go to get judged one day, when you think about it, it's not about how people treat you. It's about how you react to how they treat you. So on that day, you get judged and you're talking to Jesus and Jesus is like.

So why did you say this to this person? Why did you go off on them? Why did you treat them this way? And you're like, because they was mean to me. They're going look at you like, they was mean to you? Well, what about what they did to me? And so that's what I always think about. How someone treats me doesn't matter because they're going to be judged for it. But how I respond, how I voice, how I react.

what I say, what I do, that's what I'm going to be judged for. So win that. That's why I try my hardest to not stay in the area of offense. So before I go, I'm going to pray us out and I hope that you took some notes. I hope you learned some things and I hope you come back, you know, because I will say that this is a journey. It is a journey. Okay. Some days you're going to be

A plus at it. Some days you're going to be failing at it. That's why you got to keep tuning in. Keep reading your Bible. Keep praying. Keep putting all that stuff at the feet of Jesus and he will pick it up. He will because he wants us to live life and live it more abundantly. All right, let's pray. Lord, we come to you in the name of Jesus. Humbly God.

gracefully Lord, thanking you Lord for everything that you do for us God. We are coming to you now Lord as willing servants, servants who are ready to be your vessel, servants who are eager to please you Lord. We want to just say Lord that we are having a hard time knowing sometimes when I use our voice, having a hard time knowing when to not use our voice Lord. We are coming to you praying that you will

partner with us Lord and give us wisdom in that area Lord and discernment as well Lord and strengthen us. In Jesus name we pray, amen. All right, thank you again for tuning in. Please like it, give it a thumbs up, whatever y'all do, do that. Because if I'm planning to see you supposed to be the one watering.

and watering it is sharing it. That's a water, right? That's a water. Or if I'm watering you, then you can plant a seed in somebody else, right? And do the same thing. And then guess what? Now we both did a job together. We both did a job together and gotta do the rest.

Bye.