Where is your Voice intro

Erika (00:02.446)
My name is Erica. Welcome to Where is Your Voice Ministries. I am so happy and grateful and thankful and blessed and honored and cherished that you are here. So before I jump into it, let me tell you about me and why I decided to start a podcast. So like I said, my name is Erica.

And the reason I decided to start a podcast is because I wanted to really express the importance on speaking up, on having your own voice, on knowing that you can be courageous. It's so important. And I realized in my own life that I did not have a voice. For a good portion of my life, I did not have a voice.

Transcript

Erika (00:02)
My name is Erica. Welcome to Where is Your Voice Ministries. I am so happy and grateful and thankful and blessed and honored and cherished that you are here. So before I jump into it, let me tell you about me and why I decided to start a podcast. So like I said, my name is Erica.

And the reason I decided to start a podcast is because I wanted to really express the importance on speaking up, on having your own voice, on knowing that you can be courageous. It's so important. And I realized in my own life that I did not have a voice. For a good portion of my life, I did not have a voice.

I always felt afraid to speak up for myself. I felt like if I said the wrong thing, people wouldn't like me. I felt like if I said the wrong thing, that people will be mad at me. I felt like if I spoke up for myself, that I was wrong. I am a Christian, so this is a definitely Christ-centered-based podcast. It will remain that.

So every single topic, we will be sharing the love of Jesus because that's why I'm doing this. That's who has me doing this. You know, we all have a story and every story can help someone else get through what they're going through. And that's another reason why we need your voice and why my voice is also needed as well. So.

Like I said, Jesus led me to doing this actually about two years ago, but I was afraid because like I said, I didn't have a voice and you know, I have realized growing up that I think I lost my voice because of my mom and my sister, honestly, because

They would make fun of me a lot about how I spoke, how I said certain things. And then my mom was very big on that as a woman, we weren't allowed to say certain things or she would say family business needs to stay in the family. So I was a very quiet child. Even as a teenager, my friends called me Casper because it seemed as though...

I was not there because you never heard me say anything. So I noticed in my own life and in my own trials, in my own struggles, a lot of them happened because I didn't speak up for myself when I should have have speaking up for myself. And I do want to add that this is boundaries and God wants us to have boundaries.

good, great boundaries. The Lord put boundaries within us to protect us. Boundaries are to keep good in and to keep bad out. So when we are not speaking up for ourselves, then we don't have any boundaries and people who are takers love that. And so because of me not having a voice, I didn't have boundaries.

So that meant that I was a people pleaser. Can you imagine a people pleaser with no voice? Right. I was in bondage. I truly felt like I was in slavery. It was a terrible thing. And, you know, as I became older, I started to notice that I had a lot of struggle in friendships.

And it was literally because I wouldn't speak up. Like if my friends wanted me to go somewhere and I couldn't go, like I would try my hardest to go just because I was so afraid to speak up for myself and say no. When I lost my virginity, I truly feel like I lost my virginity because I couldn't speak up for myself and just say, no, I'm not ready to do this right now.

Relationships toxic relationships that I stayed in when an argument would happen I was the person that was shut down Like a mouse and just allow them to attack me abuse me without seeing anything But I will say being in an abusive relationships Made me not want to have a voice because every time I had a voice it was like what I said was so terrible, so Yeah

So, yeah, being people who are controlling toxic people, they love people who don't have a voice. They love people pleasers. They love people who don't have boundaries, because when you think about it, someone who was controlling needs someone who was always going to say yes, or someone who was never going to say nothing. And someone who is a people pleaser doesn't have a voice and like boundaries is the perfect

type of person for toxic people. So that is another reason why I still want to start this podcast. Cause I feel a burden on my heart to help those who are still hurting, to help those who are still struggling in that area. And there is a lot of us men and women. I do feel like women struggle with this more because we are raised.

that we're not allowed to speak up, that we should be quiet, we should be meek. We just, you know, we're raised differently than men. Men are taught to speak up, to use their voice, and women are taught to not use their voice. So you don't see many men struggle in this area, but I do know that there are men that do. So that's why I started this podcast, because I just want to be a vessel for the Lord and help those.

because I am so grateful that God saved me from this. The Lord literally saved me from myself. So I want to be on here just to be a platform to help people who are struggling in that same area as well. So like I said, I did the faith story and I realized in my faith story that I did not have a voice.

and I saw the consequences that not having a voice caused in my life. And not just in relationships, but in a workplace as well too. Like if you're someone and you're afraid to use your voice in a workplace, that's how people get promoted. The people who usually get promoted are the ones that are speaking up. Like it's very rare that you see a manager just promote someone.

because of their work ethic. Does that happen? Absolutely it does. But imagine there's two people, one person who has an amazing work ethic and then the next person, not so good of a work ethic. They got a decent one, but they're voicey. They're always talking. And one thing I notice about people who are in management or leadership, they do not like confrontation.

So they will give the person who is more vocal that opportunity than the person who has a strong work ethic but never says anything. Yeah, because they don't want to keep hearing them every day asking for this promotion. And instead of being firm and saying, no, we have someone else that we actually think will be amazing for it. Guess what? They know they don't have to hear anything from you because you never say anything anyway.

So in their mind, we have killed two birds in one stone, because you're not going to say anything. And this other person, although they don't work as hard as you, at least now they'll be quiet about their promotion. And that used to happen to me a lot. And then another thing I realized is, when you don't have the habit of speaking up for yourself, when you finally do speak up for yourself,

It comes out in a way that sounds crazy. Like I don't know if y'all seen the movie called Me, Myself, and Irene. That's what that movie was about. It stars Jim Carrey and in the movie, in the movie he gets taken advantage of, you know. He ends up...

You know, in this situation where he was clearly being taken advantage of, but because he was a people pleaser, because he didn't have a voice, because he didn't have any boundaries, when he would get really upset, he would flip out. And so that is another reason why it's really important to start setting some very safe, healthy boundaries and to start learning how to speak up for yourself, because when you finally do speak up,

you explode and that was me as well. So when I finally would be firm on my boundaries and when I would use a voice, my voice would be like, it would be crazy and then I would be made to feel bad for the rest of the day. And I was like, and I would, and people would be talking about me and they'll be like, Erica, she yelled at me, she's so mean. And I'm like, I'm.

I mean, I never even speak up for myself, but because when I finally would, it would be so different than what people expected that it would come across as if I was mean. Yeah. And I'm going to be like, why can't people just understand me? Because I wasn't giving them a voice so they could understand me. I can give you an example. One of my jobs I was working at, it was this guy that kept asking me something.

every single day that I came to work and it was really frustrating me that he kept bothering me while I was working. But I would never tell him, I would just respond. And I remember I was going to put in PTO one day because I was like, I do not want him to ask me a question when I go to work. But I was like, no, it's okay. I'm just going to go to work. Who cares? So I get to work. Sure enough, he turns around, Erica. I'm like, what's up?

He asked me the question and I was just like, stop, stop right now. And I was like, this is why. And I just started like going off. And of course he never asked me a question again, but he went around the office and told everybody that I screamed at him. So imagine me being mortified that now all of sudden I have turned into the big black angry woman.

at my corporate company and I'm just like, all because I didn't use my voice before and just tell him, hey, one time is enough. You don't have to keep asking me the same question every day. Once is enough. And then if I would have did that, then that big blowout would not have happened later. That's why that's another reason why ...

We want to set some healthy boundaries. We want to be OK of using our voice. And I just also want to add that in every conversation that you have with people, you should be comfortable enough to say your likes, dislikes, your hates, and the things that make you uncomfortable. If you feel uncomfortable of saying those things, then that is something that you have to check within you.

because you should feel comfortable. And sometimes it's not even a you problem. It can simply just be because of the person that you're hanging with. They might be somebody that makes you feel uncomfortable with speaking up for yourself. And I have had friends like that as well. And in this walk with Jesus, those type of friendships, God does not want you to be in. So the closer you get to God, He's going to stop. He's going to start.

cutting those friendships off because the Lord truly does want you to speak up. know, there is a verse in the Bible that says that they cowardly will not enter heaven. And I feel like a lot of people don't speak on that one. they, they're quick to say the murderers, the adulterers, the sexual immoral, homosexual, they're quick to say that those type of people will not enter the kingdom of God.

But they rarely say that cowardly will not enter the kingdom of God. And so being cowardly also has a lot to do with your, you can't say your vocal cords, because the reason we're not speaking up for ourself is out of fear. And the scripture says that love drives out fear. So if you're around someone and you feel as though you can't speak up for yourself,

It could be something with that person or it could be something within you. With me, what I realized is that I had a lot of identity issues and because I didn't understand that my identity was in Christ, I was always searching for an identity. And because I was always searching for one, that always made me feel like I could not speak up because I didn't know who I was. What can I speak on if I don't even know who I

But once I realized that my identity was in Christ, I've been talking. I've been talking. I've been speaking up. But I will say setting boundaries is an everyday thing. It is still hard to consistently set boundaries. Because sometimes I'm just like, I don't want to hurt nobody feelings. And it won't even be like a feelings type thing. So I will say.

When you are someone that has a hard time with setting boundaries, you also have a hard time understanding when others do it to you. So in my mind, because I had a hard time setting boundaries, when I set them, I still have a hard time understanding it. And in the beginning, when I first started setting boundaries, I would feel bad.

all day long about it. I would be like, my gosh, they're going to be so upset with me. They're mad at me. My mom is upset with me because I didn't do what she asked me to do. This person is upset with me because I spoke up about how I felt about whatever the topic was. It would just play out in my head all day. These are things that I would have to take to God and put at His feet. The more that I put things at His feet,

the more he started to lead me to scriptures about not relying on people and just relying on God. And you know, one day the Lord whispered in my ear that I was his handiwork. And when he told me this, that truly freed me because it showed me that everything that I do, Christ is doing within me. So if Christ is doing all of these things within me,

That means anybody who comes against what I'm doing, they are coming against the most high God. And when I thought about it in those terms, it freed my voice because I started to realize that what I'm speaking, the Holy Spirit is speaking through me. So if you're offended by what I'm saying, that means you're actually offended by the Holy Spirit. Therefore you're offended by God. And if you're offended by God, guess what? God is going to fight my battles.

So just knowing those things freed me. It freed my vocal cords. It closed up my boundaries. It set some standards. So that's why I say it's so important to find your voice. But the best way to find your voice is to know your identity. If you don't know that your identity is in Christ,

you're going to have a really hard time finding your voice. Even if you do think you have your voice, your voice is probably being controlled by a name or authority or a ruler, maybe even your mother. Until you realize your identity is in Christ, your voice could be all over the place.

Because your voice has to be centered on Jesus and that's where the freedom comes from. That's where the freedom of being able to speak up for yourself comes from. That's where the freedom, okay, I can stand up for justice because I know that my God is the God of justice. I can stand up for righteousness because I know that my God is a righteous God. You know, I can stand up for me because I know that the Lord wants me to.

So I didn't want to make this too long. I just wanted to make this a nice about 20 minute long introduction about why I started the Where Is Your Voice ministries, but truly is to encourage others, is to lead other people to Jesus. And in this walk with Jesus, there's so many things that God needs us to set down and pick up.

And one of those things that we need to sit down and pick up is a voice. So what we're setting down is our fear of speaking up when we should. And what we're picking up is the voice of being courageous and speaking up for what is right, speaking up for the gospel, speaking up for the word, speaking up to save those who believe.

So that's what I'm here to do. And if anybody wants to join along, if anybody wants to add some input, prayer, guidance, whatever you want to do, I would love that. And I'm super excited to see y'all the next time. The next topic is just going to be my stance on Jesus and how I feel and just ways that we should be speaking up.

in these areas. That's what Jesus asked us to do when he left. He said he is coming back. In that process of waiting for the Lord coming back, we are supposed to be using our voice and speaking up on righteousness and justice in this world and about the Lord and saving those who believe. This walk is hard. It is a journey.

but we can do this journey together. And that's why it's a billion of us in this world because God wanted us to do this together because Jesus is in you, he is in me, and we are here to be the light in the darkness. So God needs your voice, okay? And if you're afraid to use your voice, it's okay. I was too. Just keep listening, keep being encouraged, and we will get there one day.

Remember, it's not your time, it's God's timing. Amen. Before I leave, I'm just going to go ahead and pray and bow your heads. All right. Lord, we come to you in the name of Jesus, Father God, thanking you for everything that you do. We are so honored and so blessed and so grateful, Lord.

to be your chosen vessel, Lord. I want to pray for everyone that stepped in and listened, Lord. I just pray that they feel peace, they feel joy, they feel love, and that you will send your soldiers to surround them, Lord. Send an angel of the Lord to their home, Lord, to guard them, to watch over them, Lord. Those who are struggling to set those boundaries and to use their voice and to just be a vessel right now, Lord.

Let them know Lord that they have you, that the strength is in you, the courage is in you, the freedom is in you Lord. It is just in time and your timing is always the best timing Lord. In Jesus name we pray, amen. All right y'all, thank you for watching or listening.